Soup Time with Professor Breve Bronovan

September is coming so fast...

2010-08-16T15:35:00.006-04:00

I've had a great summer, but it's slipped away so quickly. September is almost here and with it comes Out Of Bounds comedy festival, probably my favorite time of year in Austin. I'll be doing two shows for Out Of Bounds, both on Friday September 3rd.

11pm at The Velveeta Room I'll be doing stand up as my alter ego Bernard, the most boring man in the world. It's been awhile since he's been out, the busy season for a writer for the Handbook Journal Review just ended.

Then that same night at 1am one of my improv troupes, Achatina Achatina, will be doing a show over at ColdTowne Theater.

But that's just the start, for if you attend out of bounds you may see an ad for this in the program:

In the OOB program it's black and white, but you should come see this show one of the Thursdays that it is running. All Turn of the Century Paris, all sketch comedy, a whole hour, BYOB and it only costs $5 at ColdTowne Theater.

I've also recently become Assistant Director of the ColdTowne Mainstage Sketch Show which is every Friday at 8pm. I'm helping to write the show among my other duties, and we're trying out new sketches every Friday from now until the new show debuts in October.

-Steve

Freedom Tickling

2010-05-12T14:51:00.006-04:00

A few months ago on a road trip from Boston to Austin, I found one of those little roadside gems that really make the long hours in a car feel like nothing. In a run down restaurant (with the amazingly original name "Restaurant") somewhere in north Texas we stopped to go to the bathroom and upon entering that fated room I was greeted with this.

For 50 cents obviously I was getting one, just look at the hilarious contradictions. "The French Freedom Tickler, It's the patriotic thing to do!" Clearly the makers of this adult novelty item were confused about which country they were marketing it in, because all the imagery says America, yet it's a "French Tickler", but it was made in Korea and packaged in the US. The Barnett International Corporation of Charlotte, NC has some serious nationality issues they need to work out. A quick internet search for similar products brought me this:

Here's a company that knows what they are, all American Freedom Tickling. Oh wait but what is that fine print down there, "Do Not Use as a Substitute for a Condom." Seriously? You're going to sell condoms in bathrooms that aren't actually supposed to be used as condoms? According to Wikipedia, "A French tickler is a latex condom that is designed with additional protrusions, for enhancing the sexual pleasure of the user." This Freedom Tickler fails at its main function and should only be used for novelty applications such as making an alien finger puppet show.

When we tire of the novelty of that, at least we can always turn to the Chinese condom maker Elasun, who's condoms can contain meteors, and surely your own eruption.

Insert joke about condoms being more likely to save the world than Bruce Willis here.

The Japanese have really got something going with their condoms, obviously thinly veiled movie rip offs helps sell sex right?

You haven't lived until you slipped into a Star Condom and felt the force on your junk, but if you whip out The Ring condoms, it's guaranteed to kill the mood...unless you're into necrophilia.

-Breve

Plugging the Live stuff

2010-05-07T15:09:00.006-04:00

The first of Turn of the Century Paris's run of sketch shows went very well last night, if you missed it you have two more chances on Thursday May 13th & 20th, both at 10pm, $5 and BYOB at ColdTowne Theater. We'll also be performing a different set on Thursday May 27th at 8pm, $10, BYOB also at ColdTowne for the first ever Austin Sketch Fest. That show is with the excellent Green Tuna (Jared Stepp) and Stag (Master Pancake Theater dudes).

Shamless list of my upcoming live shows:

Bless This Mess Sat. May 8th 9pm at ColdTowne $5 BYOB Cage Match O' Champions -WON!

Turn of the Century Paris Thurs. May 13th at ColdTowne 10pm $5 BYOB

Turn of the Century Paris Speakeasy: Fri. May 14th at ColdTowne 11:15pm Free, BYOB

Achatina Achatina! Saturday May 15th at The Lair in Round Rock 8pm $5

Achatina Achatina! Thurs. May 20th 8pm at ColdTowne $5 BYOB

Turn of the Century Paris Thurs. May 20th at ColdTowne 10pm $5 BYOB

Achatina Achatina! Friday May 21st at The Lair 8pm $5

Achatina Achatina! Sat. May 22nd 9pm at ColdTowne, $5 BYOB, Cage Match O' Champions

Turn of the Century Paris Thurs. May 27th at ColdTowne 8pm $10 BYOB ATX Sketch Fest

Secret Senate Debut: Sunday June 6th 7pm at ColdTowne Free, BYOB

Secret Senate Thurs. June 10th 8pm at ColdTowne, $5, BYOB

Secret Senate Fri. June 11th 11pm at ColdTowne Free, BYOB

Bless This Mess Sat. June 12th 9pm at ColdTowne $5 2nd Round Cage Match of Champions

Secret Senate Sat. June 26th 7pm at ColdTowne $5, BYOB

There's more scheduled for July, but I shall save those for later, this list is already long enough.

Britches Get Stitches

2010-05-05T13:32:00.004-04:00

Britches Get Stitches.

This is a one panel comic that I wrote and was drawn by Kendall Noble (Heart of Cobalt) for a webcomic that we were planning on starting called Beatnik Factory. It's still possible that Beatnik Factory might see the light of the internet day some time in the future, but I love this drawing so I'm posting it here now.

If you feel like reading my newly posted performers bio over at ColdTowneTheater.com you can do so here.

-Breve

2010-05-04T16:52:00.001-04:00

Our brand new sketch show starting this week and the rest of the Thursdays in May.

Comfy Chair Grandpa

2010-03-08T11:16:00.003-05:00

Have a taste of this brand new comedy monologue I did the other night at Salvage Vanguard Theater for No Shame.

No Shame 0310 - Steve Donovan from Naughty Troll on Vimeo.

I have plans to revamp this blog into a real website soon, and then I will be updating it much more regularly.

Until that happens you can see me at these places doing live comedy:

Tonight 3/8 9PM I'm doing Stand Up at Puff Puff Laugh, which takes place every Monday at Pipes Plus at 2418 Guadalupe right across from UT Campus.

Achatina Achatina! has some upcoming shows:
Fri. 3/12 11:30PM at Cold Towne with North Shore Local, Free BYOB
Mon. 4/5 8:30PM at Cold Towne we're tag team hosting the Monday Night Mash, Free BYOB
Thurs. 4/15 8:00PM at The Hideout Theater $3
More to be announced soon!

-Steve

Winged Love

2010-01-31T22:03:00.003-05:00

Bernard Live on TV and the Internet, Tonight!

2010-01-16T18:39:00.003-05:00

Bernard is going to be live on The Austin Variety Show tonight at 10pm Central, you can see the whole show here. If you live in or around Austin, come see it live complete with in studio party and followed by a burlesque show, event info here.

-Bernard

This one's for those in Denton

2009-11-29T13:53:00.006-05:00

First off, Achatina Achatina! won our Cage Match round 1 last night, and we will be moving on to face All Talk in round 2 on Saturday Dec. 12th, 9PM ColdTowne Theater.

A video of my Bernard set at No Shame Theater from the beginning of the month is now online here. No new material, but it was a fun time and I followed a mime. Not sure what he thought about my mime joke...

You And What Productions is going to be doing a sketch show for the 2010 Frontera Fest at Hyde Park Theatre, our show is Wednesday Jan. 27th and shall feature the illustrious Matt Derman, Chaz Formichella, Cortnie Jones, Brian Engravalle and myself, with a probable special guest appearance by Edward Dennis Reed IV.

I'll leave you with this picture of a cat and its owner at a cat show I went to a few weeks back, it was quite a hilarious time.

-Breve

My punchline set from a few weeks ago

2009-11-05T19:23:00.007-05:00

Doing stand up as myself - TWIST! - trying out brand new material.

My new improv troupe "Achatina Achatina" will be performing in the cage match at Cold Towne on Saturday Nov. 28 at 9pm. Two teams enter, one team leaves.

You & What is busy working on our sketches for our frontera fest show which will be sometime in January.

Bernard at Punchline 9/11/09

2009-09-13T14:05:00.002-04:00

Trying out some new material at Cold Towne for Punchline the other night.

It's been a long time...

2009-07-20T13:22:00.007-04:00

Lots of stuff has happened in the last three months since I have updated this. Mainly I now live in Austin, TX. I've been doing a bunch of the many open mics here as Bernard, and Bernard has his own presence on facebook now. We've also been working on the new version Bernard the sitcom. Beatnik Factory is also starting to really get going and will be online sometime in the future.

I started improv classes at ColdTowne today, and I'm doing some graphic design and marketing interning for them to pay for said class. Coldtowne is a pretty awesome place, and has a great community of comedians around it that have all been super welcoming. Here's an almost finished version of a poster for them.

and here's a picture of my house:

That's all for now, more videos of Bernard to come soon.

-Br Br

Bernard Stand Up!

2009-05-07T15:42:00.006-04:00

My performance at The Comedy Studio last weekend for my final for stand up class, I think it went pretty well.

I'll be doing another show on May 15th w/ We Do Stand Up, here is the poster for that

Tickets are $10 in advance, $12 at the door, and part of the proceeds will go to 826 Boston.

In other news: I'm done with school, graduation is next week, and this is how real life starts...

USAF Cyber Warrior Ad

2009-04-30T11:50:00.003-04:00

Here's a video I made for my sketch comedy class with Mike Bent, starring Jeff Amaral.

The end of my time at Emerson is nigh, very nigh.

Original

2009-04-09T12:09:00.003-04:00

Statue Talk #7

Upcoming Shows:

April 23rd Chocolate Cake City - live sketch comedy in the Cabaret at 80 Boylston St.
April 29th Sketch comedy show for my Mike Bent class, at the Comedy Studio in Harvard Square
May 3rd I'll be doing stand up as Bernard, for the other Mike Bent class, also at Comedy Studio
the shows at the comedy studio are $10 I think, maybe $5 w/ student ID

if you didn't already please vote

-Breve

as of yet untitled

2009-04-08T12:35:00.005-04:00

first version of this, i'm not sure what else i'm going to do with it yet, but there will be another draft at some point soon.

also you should head over to threadless and vote on my type tees submission. i'm working on some designs for shirts, but right now i've just got a few slogans up.

Woke up to find this...

2009-04-01T11:48:00.005-04:00

it was a very strange first morning of april.

It reminds me of one of my favorite short stories, El Dinosaurio by Augusto Monterroso. Here it is in its entirety:

Cuando despertó, el dinosaurio todavía estaba allí.

"When [s]he awoke, the dinosaur was still there."

I hope you are all playing devilish pranks today, or just lying continuously all day. If you see me today, do not believe a thing I say.

-Br Br

Squeaky Owl

2009-03-30T15:04:00.004-04:00

Statue Talk #6

In the midst of watching the second season of Twin Peaks with Zach and Aja, so the owl seems fitting, although I hear that is a disappointing plot line.

Weekend Ending

2009-03-29T11:14:00.005-04:00

It is sunday, the day of laziness and procrastinating work. In other news I did stand up for the first time friday night at Tufts with We Do Stand Up for the the Laughs of Love comedy festival hosted by Cheap Sox. It was a really great time, and the audience was fantastic. It feels really good to get such a positive reaction the first time up there, and I can't wait to do more.

Anyway here's an old experiment in photoshop:

A Snake Can

2009-03-25T12:49:00.001-04:00

Statue Talk #5

-Breve

Seven Days Journey

2009-03-20T16:08:00.011-04:00

Statue Talk #4

Staring Contest

2009-03-18T12:55:00.005-04:00

Statue Talk #3 featuring Charles Pieper

Watching Rocko's Modern Life before work, I'm really glad I was exposed to such weird cartoons as a child. I guess I can thank Nickelodeon for that. Rocko has the greatest visual jokes, and a lot of references to classic movies that I never got when I was six or seven.

END BLOG

The Long Wait

2009-03-13T13:04:00.002-04:00

another statue thing:

still more to come.

Statue Talk 1

2009-03-10T13:56:00.006-04:00

sometimes statues talk, sometimes they say funny things.

more of these soon, also FuckItList on twitter today, good stuff

Why can't metro signs be this cool everywhere?

2009-03-05T12:30:00.004-05:00

Flashy Fiction

2009-03-04T14:14:00.001-05:00

Here's a 20 minute story I wrote awhile back:

       I half-heartedly explained to them that it was completely necessary, even if neither them nor I could at present understand it. The tourists in their shorts and Hawaiian shirts revolted against me.
      “But it’s so cute and harmless.”
      “This is just inhumane.”
      “You will burn in hell for your sins.”
      I took their words calmly, about once a week I had a crowd react like this. It is natural really, when I was first introduced to Zy I wondered why he must be kept in such an inhospitable steel prison, bound and shocked every few minutes to keep him incapacitated. He did look rather cute and pathetic. But my job wasn’t to question the scientists in their white coats. It was their idea to contain Zy this way, my job was to lead groups of specially approved tourists to see the research being done by the Trezer and Trezer Corporation. We were after all at the head of the industry, providing “answers to today’s problems with the technology of tomorrow.”
        “And that concludes our tour for today, Trezer and Trezer invites you to take a free sample of our new multi-tabs, a thin sheet of pure regenerative micro-bio-organisms to keep your body running smoothly, symbiosis is just one small sheet away.”
        After everyone had gone through the revolving doors I started back down the hallway to the employee lounge. I was surprised to find a little boy from the tour still standing in front of Zy’s cage, his face pressed up against the glass watching the scientists work.
       “The tour is over, you need to go home with your parents,” I said.
He turned toward me, his dark eyes showing no hint of understanding of what I had just said.
       “Come on, kid, you have to leave, it’s over.”
       He turned back to the glass, breathing heavily.
       A burst of light blinded me, followed by a sharp cracking sound.
      When I could see again I was on the floor, the boy was gone, and so was Zy. His cage a melted mass of metal scarred with black streaks. The scientists behind the now shattered glass lay on the floor.
       “I shouldn’t be here,” was all I could think as I retreated down the hall, now lit with the red strobes of the alarms.

I'm thinking about making that better and extending it...would love it to make a comic, but who knows.

unrelated picture:

2009-03-03T22:57:00.005-05:00

best building ever?

someday it will be ours.

2009-03-02T13:21:00.004-05:00

War on CozyJamble!

2009-02-28T14:59:00.003-05:00

Souptimers!

It has come to my attention that my arch nemesis Cozy Jamble now has a website. This is disastrous! I hereby declare all out internet war on Cozy Jamble!

-The Professor

humans can fly now apparently

2008-12-22T15:21:00.003-05:00

so apparently humans can fly as of may 14th 2008

why didn't anyone tell me?

The View From The Backseat

2008-12-16T17:08:00.002-05:00

Radical Ideas Bandied About in Southern Diner

2008-12-14T01:00:00.002-05:00

On December 13th at circa 11pm one professor Chairs Sofachella did say,

"I believe that a human's life is more valuable than an unscathed book"

Chairs Sofachella, making bold social statements since 2008.

Welcome to Soup Time with Professor Breve Bronovan

2008-12-04T13:50:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the very first Soup Time installment right here at Soup Time with Professor Breve Bronovan. Today's Topic: Ice Cream, The Anti-Soup.

I'll start off the topic by saying, yes, I do believe Ice Cream could possibly be the opposite of soup, at least on a molecular level if nothing else.

Supporting Evidence:
Soup is hot. Ice Cream is Cold.
Soup is Salty. Ice Cream is Sweet.
Soup is mostly enjoyed by sick people and old lady's. Ice cream is mostly enjoyed by little kids and cannibal cows.

Reader Chairs Sofachella writes, "Professor Bronovan, I posit that Ice cream is not the opposite of soup for it is also enjoyed in a bowl with a spoon. Also the chocolately chunkys and other goodies in ice cream are pretty analogous to the floaty meaty chunkys and noodly bits of soups."

Good Point Chairs! We musn't forget the old spoon and bowl debate, but to fully explain it would take to much time.

In conclusion, Soup the opposite of ice cream? Decide for yourself!

the real question is have you been to www.6or7popes.com yet?