Freedom Tickling

A few months ago on a road trip from Boston to Austin, I found one of those little roadside gems that really make the long hours in a car feel like nothing. In a run down restaurant (with the amazingly original name "Restaurant") somewhere in north Texas we stopped to go to the bathroom and upon entering that fated room I was greeted with this.

For 50 cents obviously I was getting one, just look at the hilarious contradictions. "The French Freedom Tickler, It's the patriotic thing to do!" Clearly the makers of this adult novelty item were confused about which country they were marketing it in, because all the imagery says America, yet it's a "French Tickler", but it was made in Korea and packaged in the US. The Barnett International Corporation of Charlotte, NC has some serious nationality issues they need to work out. A quick internet search for similar products brought me this:

Here's a company that knows what they are, all American Freedom Tickling. Oh wait but what is that fine print down there, "Do Not Use as a Substitute for a Condom." Seriously? You're going to sell condoms in bathrooms that aren't actually supposed to be used as condoms? According to Wikipedia, "A French tickler is a latex condom that is designed with additional protrusions, for enhancing the sexual pleasure of the user." This Freedom Tickler fails at its main function and should only be used for novelty applications such as making an alien finger puppet show.

When we tire of the novelty of that, at least we can always turn to the Chinese condom maker Elasun, who's condoms can contain meteors, and surely your own eruption.


Insert joke about condoms being more likely to save the world than Bruce Willis here.

The Japanese have really got something going with their condoms, obviously thinly veiled movie rip offs helps sell sex right?


You haven't lived until you slipped into a Star Condom and felt the force on your junk, but if you whip out The Ring condoms, it's guaranteed to kill the mood...unless you're into necrophilia.


-Breve